Four Steps To Overcoming Self-sabotaging Behaviors
Self-sabotaging behaviors prevent you from conditioning yourself for success. Changing these long-established behavior patterns is just as difficult as recognizing and understanding them.
I’ll be honest with you. I never doubted my ability to do things, but I did find myself afraid of success at one point. I could feel it in my bones. I had achieved many things in my life, and yet I still caught myself doubting.
One day, I would boldly say, “I am going to be a millionaire.” But my self-talk would whisper, “Nobody in your family has ever been a millionaire.” That is negative self-talk. That is self-doubt. And if you let it continue, it can block your road to success.
Have you felt this? You keep achieving, but deep down you question yourself. You feel like a phony. You wonder if people can really trust you. You may even fear that others will “find out” you aren’t as good as they think.
I learned that I wasn’t alone in this. When I surrounded myself with like-minded people, I discovered that many of them felt the same way. And when I realized what it was called, I finally understood: Imposter Syndrome.
What Is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is the belief that you are a fraud, despite your accomplishments. You question your knowledge, feel undeserving of success, or attribute it to luck instead of skill.
Some of the top qualities of imposter syndrome are:
Feeling like a phony. Believing you don’t actually know what you know.
Fear of being discovered as a fraud. Worrying that one day everyone will “find out.”
Inability to accept success as genuine. Assigning your achievements to luck, timing, or connections instead of your gifts.
I concentrate on mindset daily because imposter syndrome is real and widespread. I once had a coworker who was one of the best administrators I’ve ever known. She was organized, efficient, and always prepared — yet she constantly doubted herself. At the time, we didn’t know what imposter syndrome was. Looking back, I see clearly that she was struggling with it.
Imposter syndrome can also make you overestimate others’ abilities while underestimating your own. If something feels easy for you, you assume it must be easy for everyone — when really, it’s your unique skillset that makes it easy.
The Five Types of Imposters
There are no strict rules, but generally, imposter syndrome shows up in five basic ways:
The Expert – Believes they never know enough, always chasing “just one more thing” before feeling ready.
The Soloist – Refuses to ask for help, believing needing support makes them a fraud.
The Genius – Feels shame if tasks take effort, convinced true ability should make everything quick and easy.
The Perfectionist – Sets impossibly high standards and never feels satisfied, even when success is achieved.
The Superhero – Proves worth by outworking everyone else, taking on more projects, staying late, and sacrificing balance.
Do any of these sound familiar? Many of us recognize ourselves in more than one type.
Four Steps to Overcome Self-Sabotaging Beliefs
So, how do you break free from imposter syndrome and stop sabotaging yourself? It begins with awareness and intentional change.
1. Recognize You Are at a Crossroads
Understand that your decisions and choices are yours alone. You decide whether to stay stuck or to grow.
2. Commit to Changing Your Self-Talk
Shift your language from “I can’t” or “I won’t” to “I can, I will.” Notice how your emotions change when you change your words. Write these shifts down daily and track your progress.
3. Replace Negative Seeds With Positive Ones
Self-resentment plants the seed of sabotage. Instead, sow joy, gratitude, and empowerment. Ask yourself: “Do my actions bring me peace and growth, or stress and pain?” Choose the path that leads to life, not discouragement.
4. Accept Your Success as Genuine
Stop attributing your wins to luck or timing. You are gifted. You are talented. People come to you for a reason. Own your success as the result of your dedication and hard work.
Overcoming self-sabotage takes courage and commitment. Before you can change how you show up for others, you must first change how you show up for yourself.
Recognize the lies that hold you back. Replace negative self-talk with affirmations of truth. Accept that your success is real and that you deserve it.
No matter what obstacles you face, remember this: you are not a fraud. You are not an accident. You are chosen, capable, and equipped for success.
