Becoming of You

Teekwa Scarborough, a native of The Bronx, New York, where hip hop and breakdancing were born, wasn’t influenced by rapping or spinning on her head. Instead, it was the value of education instilled in her through her parents’ upbringing that shaped her.

She graduated at the top of her class (cum laude) from Monroe College in 2008 with a BA in Business Administration and Computer Information Systems. She is the eldest of three siblings, a single mom of two, and a proud grandmother of two.

As you have gotten to know me through the last five series of “Why I Was Born,” I will continue to share more of my “Becoming.” This journey is to inspire single women, single women with children, Christian women, women in relationships, women pursuing careers, and women starting businesses.

I know I have a purpose in life, and it is not to keep to myself. It is to share, inspire, and impact lives. Never in a million years did I think I would be here writing a blog. I used to hate writing and would always say, “I can’t write.” I am still not a fan, but if you don’t know God, He will test you. Be careful of what comes out of your mouth. God has His plan for my life, and if you are reading this blog now, it is not by accident. I believe God orders our footsteps. Even when we do not make the right choices, He will redirect us back to the path He has planned for us.

When I Surrendered It All

It was the beginning of my new life. I felt free. I felt like something that had been holding me back from my purpose had been released.

At that time, a friend of mine was also going through a breakup. While I had reached the point where I wasn’t looking back, she wasn’t there yet. God allowed me to see myself through her. It was an eye-opener, showing me how far I had come and what He had been revealing to me all along.

This was the start of figuring out my purpose. I used to cry out to God, “What am I supposed to do? I don’t know my purpose.” I thought of many ways I could help others. At one point, I wanted to open a center for young boys because of the struggles I faced with my oldest son. Then I wanted to help young teenage mothers learn to love themselves and not idolize a man. I had ideas, but I still felt lost.

I joined a 42-day study group on Rick Warren’s book Purpose Driven Life: What On Earth Am I Here For? It helped me uncover answers that were always in front of me. God revealed multiple things. Although I had never been married, never lived with a man, and was a single mom striving to make life better for my children, I was called to lead a singles' ministry. At first, I resisted. “How can I lead a ministry?” I thought. I was still struggling myself. But then I realized I was an expert at being single.

I also realized that God had given me the gift of administration. When I started college pregnant with my first baby, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I chose secretarial studies. That wasn’t for me, so I switched to accounting. After my twins were born, I had to pause my college studies. I worked different jobs, but eventually landed an administrative assistant role. I didn’t want administrative work, but it was all I could find. And now, more than 20 years later, I can say that being an administrative assistant has been one of my greatest purposes. The very thing I tried to avoid became the foundation of my calling.

God is funny like that. Every time I questioned my journey, He reminded me of where I came from and where He was leading me. I learned not to question Him. Surrendering means giving up control and letting Him lead.

Did I Idolize This Man?

During my long relationship, I did everything to keep it going, especially for my youngest son. Part of me stayed because I didn’t want to raise another boy alone. Like many women, I wanted my children to grow up in a balanced home with both parents. That desire came from my own upbringing with both parents present.

But my choices had consequences. I wanted marriage. I wanted the home. I wanted the family picture. Yet, God wasn’t in the center of it.

We had disagreements, lived separately, and occasionally stayed at each other’s homes. We even got “engaged” and looked for a house. He insisted we find the house before marriage. At the time, I didn’t see it, but now I realize how controlling he was. He always made things appear like they benefited us both, but in reality, it was all for him.

I see now that he was selfish, but I stayed because I wanted to be married. I wanted the dream, even if it wasn’t God’s will.

After the breakup, I realized I had idolized the relationship. It wasn’t intentional, but when you focus more on something or someone than on God, it becomes idolizing. My heart was more invested in the relationship than in Him.

Scripture is clear:

Matthew 4:10 – “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’”

Exodus 20:3 – “You shall have no other gods before Me.”

Luke 4:8 – “Get behind Me, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’”

The Glow

Through trials and tribulations, when you walk with God, you begin the journey of “Becoming who you are.”

After my breakup, I felt released from bondage, sin, fear, and control. The dreams I had for myself could finally come alive because I wasn’t weighed down anymore. Instead of falling into depression, crying every night, or numbing the pain, I experienced the opposite.

Everywhere I went, people told me I was glowing. My father even said, “This breakup was great. You are glowing and smiling all the time.” My mindset shifted into drive mode. I partnered with my brother to start my first business, an event planning company called Sophisticated Touch. I launched my singles ministry and hosted my first conference, “Embracing Your Singleness,” in 2018. Soon after, I founded PowerPro Assistants, my virtual assistant agency.

That was the glow of the Holy Spirit.

As I grew closer to Jesus, I realized that every struggle and delay had shaped me for this moment. I released control and allowed God to order my steps. His word says in Matthew 11:28-30:

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

For a time, I thought being a Christian was hard. But in truth, I was the one making it hard for myself. His word is truth, light, and the way.

I recently discovered that my name, Teekwa, means “hope” in Hebrew. And that’s what I carry now — hope in Christ, hope in my purpose, hope in the future He is still unfolding.

I still have a long way to go, but I welcome the journey. Are you ready to see the becoming of you? Are you ready to surrender it all?